Aren’t the Only Imaginary Ones
Welcome once more, Dog Lovers.
Let me first apologize for my extended absence. I traded elephants when I accepted a position with a local freight company as a data entry specialist.
My unemployment elephant got sent packing along with some of my debt elephants (HOO-RAY!). However, now I work long hours and I work exclusively at night, so there’s been a trade off. My new elephants, Loneliness and Reduced Free Time arrived. The good news is that I’m doing very well in managing these two elephants. I’ve avoided feeding them, and I share my elephants with friends and family. (See nuggets #2 and #4) All in all its well worth it. I like my job and the people I work with, and my commute is very short.
This is the 5th installment of my personal blog. I started it when a friend advised me to write to cope with a very deep and personal loss. The theme thus far has been:
How to Deal With Tough Times and Keep Your Sanity Intact
Off we go!
We sometimes (and when I say “we”, I mean “I”) have a tendency to see problems where they don’t exist.
Allow me to illustrate:
First there is a possibility of something that may not go our way.
“I hope Bob lets me borrow his car so I can make it to my job interview.”
We then assume the worst case scenario.
“Bob probably won’t lend me his car.”
Then we make a series of quite logical if/then statements.
“If I don’t get Bob’s car, then I can’t make it to the interview.”
“If I can’t make it to the interview, then I won’t get hired.”
“If I don’t get hired, then I won’t ever make money.”
“If I don’t get income, then I’ll go broke!”
“I-I-IF I go broke, then I can’t pay my rent!!”
“IF I CAN’T PAY MY RENT, THEN I’LL BE HOMELESS!!!”
“IF I’M HOMELESS, THEN MY GIRLFRIEND WILL DUMP ME ‘CAUSE I STINK, AND I’LL WIND UP EATING DOGFOOD OUT OF CAN IN A DANK ALLEY DOWN-TOWN!!!!”
Ok, so let get me get this straight, Mr. Wizard. Not getting Bob’s car equals you being a single dog-food-eating homeless person living in a dank alley down-town.
(or IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER for you Chris Farley SNL Fans.)
Ever think of rescheduling or taking the bus to your interview, genius?
“Oh, hadn’t thought of that.”
It’s natural for us to play the worst-case-scenario game. It can be a good game to play sometimes. It motivates us to purchase car insurance, make a will, and wear our seatbelts. It even helps us make good decisions in the here and now. For instance:
“Hmmm, if I call my boss a stupid, lazy, worthless pile of cow dung, then I’ll probably get fired.”
Most of the time, the worst-case-scenario game keeps us out of trouble. The trouble happens when we go to extremes with this game. We wind up twisting ourselves into knots over all the "what-if's" and "might-be's". We do this ad nauseum, ruining our meals, our sleep, and even our relationships. Its at this point when two brand new elephants appear out of thin air and plop on our laps – they quite simply called, "Worry" and "Anxiety"
Of all the elephants, these two are the trickiest to eat, because they're not real. We create them. We are so certain that the worst will happen that we make ourselves miserable anticipating terrible events. The only way to combat these two is a change our attitudes towards life.
This leads me to my next blogs’ nugget:
Nugget #6 Take Life One Day At a Time, Accept the Fact that the Future is NOT Fixed.
Its important to accept the fact that future events are not fixed. Just because something is likely to happen, it doesn’t make it so. Even if that thing does happen, there’s no guaranty that the outcome will be what you expect.
I’m personally struggling with this one. I’m in a tough spot at the moment, and I can’t see a positive outcome. As I write this blog though, I’m reminding myself that even in the event my worst case scenario happens, world ending events will NOT ensue. (i.e. alien attack, Milli Vinilli reuniting…)
This leads me to a very crucial component to defeating this elephant. I’ve not touched on it up to this point, but its key – faith. I am a Christian. I firmly believe that God is the governing force in the universe and I have a personal relationship with his Son, Jesus Christ. I don’t stand up to be counted as one of his followers enough. Often times I’m more like Peter cowering on Good Friday than I am like Peter preaching in the streets and being executed for his efforts.
At any rate, faith is so important. The belief that God is keenly aware of your situation and that he is with you when you’re going through it, might be the only thing that gets you to another sunrise. This doesn’t mean you’ve got a guarantee that the good times will always roll. It does guarantee that you’ll be given what you need to sustain and endure. If you adopt this belief and hold firm to it, you’ll feel much better about facing all the unknown tomorrows that lay in wait for you.
This leads me to two more nuggets. (More like a nugget “A” and a nugget “B”)
Nugget #7A Keep the Faith!
(This nugget is for those who’ve established a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.) Trust that no matter what, God resides within you to steel you through tough times.
Nugget #7B GET the Faith!!
(This nugget is for those who’ve never trusted Jesus with their lives)
It’s a surprisingly simple process.
No secret handshakes (course its kind of fun if you do)
No weird rituals
No chanting
#1 Admit you’re flawed, that you were born imperfect - in short admit you’re HUMAN.
#2 Believe, truly accept the fact, the truth, that an innocent man, free of sin or flaw, named Jesus Christ allowed himself to be executed. Accept the truth that this man was in fact was God’s only Son and he died in order to be resurrected so all humanity could be cleansed of their flaws - their sins through his sacrifice. Finally, accept the fact that he is the one and only way to get into God’s Kingdom.
#3 Pray for the gift of salvation. Ask the Lord to govern your life and turn your life over to him. Ask for him to forgive all your sins.
Told you it was simple. Cooking frozen Asian stir-fry is infinitely more difficult by comparison. (I know this first hand)
It’s a frightening concept. Faith in anything is mocked in our times. Don’t judge Christians by what you hear or read in the media today. Meet us, ask questions, and really see who we are. We’re not what you’d expect.
Just remember, you’re not surrendering you’re identity, you’re just allowing God to make you a far better you.
Finally, take this into account:
Christianity isn’t a religion – it’s a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
Well thanks once more for reading my blog. I don’t know when I’ll fire another one off, but I’m glad you poked in and read my latest. I pray my impending brick wall turns out to be a paper banner : )
You're Dog-Loving Blogger,
Bunji
P.S. Just as I mentioned with depression, its not uncommon to have anxiety and worry so severe that you personally aren't equipped to deal with it. Countless people are caught in the throes of this emotional condition, so you're not alone. Its not an admission of weakness to admit you have anxiety you can't shake or control. So please, if nothing you've tried on your own is relieving it, don't go on suffering in silence. There are scores of professionals who'll provide you the care you need, seek them out so you'll finally get some peace of mind.
P.S. Just as I mentioned with depression, its not uncommon to have anxiety and worry so severe that you personally aren't equipped to deal with it. Countless people are caught in the throes of this emotional condition, so you're not alone. Its not an admission of weakness to admit you have anxiety you can't shake or control. So please, if nothing you've tried on your own is relieving it, don't go on suffering in silence. There are scores of professionals who'll provide you the care you need, seek them out so you'll finally get some peace of mind.
